Today was pretty fun. School was really easy. I went to open gym with Carlos, Daniel and Jeff. I was sooooo close to landing side flips on normal ground. I just used my hand to land, other then that I had them down. After that Daniel and Jeff started showing Carlos and I some breaking stuff.  I guess Daniel is going to teach Carlos and Jeff is going to teach me. Then at the end of the school year we're going to see who's better. At the moment I don't have tons of faith in Jeff because he shows me a twelve step move, I do it once, then he moves on and thinks I have it down haha. He's already shown me a lot though, I'll just have to be able to perfect it. I guess we'll see how that ends up. I like going to open gym with them though. They help push me so that I get things down. hmm...what else...there's a new girl that I'm not really positive I like. I think I'm just going to wait that one out for a little and see how it goes. soooo...that's cool. I don't really know what else to say. I had a good day and tomorrow will be good too. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing tomorrow, but it'll be productive.

Someday something will work out well for me.

This entry was going to be somewhat insightful and dare I say...awesome? But because of what I've been doing for the past hour I changed my mind haha. I don't think it will come as a surprise to anyone that I have been trying to write songs for the past two months or so. Today I was watching Gabe Bondoc videos all day and decided to try to write similarly. It actually worked for me. Before I post these lyrics I just want to say that I never, ever, ever write like this. That's now contradicting because I just did. But you get my point. I normally criticize people for writing ridiculously sappy songs like this. Now it's my turn. I did this because I had the inspiration of Gabe and it worked. I have all the music part done for the verses. So in one day it has come along very far.

First I just want to put a little disclaimer on this entry. It's going to seem like I am posting this to debate Cameron's last post. I'm not though. We all have different experiences that give us different outlooks on life. His last entry just gave me the idea and the feelings for this one.

In his last entry Cameron talked about "constants" or family and friends(sometimes) that are always there for you. Good definition I think. For me though, I don't think I've ever kept a constant for as long as I expected or wanted to. So far as my experience goes everyone will leave you eventually. It doesn't matter if they leave this world, if they go somewhere, you go somewhere, they change into a whole different person that you don't like, etc,. No one is constant. Change is the only constant. The only person that will always be there for you is yourself, so you better be able to get yourself through anything. Yes, I have had people help me through things. It helps a lot when other people help you. For the most part though I've had to talk myself through nearly everything to get out in alright shape. Your soul, your will, your everything has to be strong enough to get you through anything. You have to learn to take these losses to be able to make it through life and be emotionally strong. Maybe I'm just emotionally not there, I don't know. Anyway, I think that I've experienced a lot of the nastier sides of life that a lot of people I know haven't. Maybe all it takes to turn you into a cynic is experience. Again, I don't know.
Have a good day.

So recently I was inspired of AJ Rafael's new song/video to start writing the music portion for some songs. I have enough lyrics for like twenty songs, but half of them are poop so I'll have to edit and choose for those. Back to what I just said though...what I've written so far musical wise is a lot better than I thought it would be. It's coming to me easier than I thought too. I expected to take an hour to be able to put together maybe one good intro. In an hour though I was able to put together about five different variations of one. I have no idea what one I like best though. When I hang out with some friends I'll have to play all of them for them and see which ones they prefer. If they can stand it. I think for nearly everything I write I'll end up consulting my friends to see if they think it sounds good. So they'll definitely play a big role in whatever it is. I know I sound really naive as if everything I write is going to be the best on earth. To me it will be, but I don't expect other people to even like them. I'm just excited that I'm doing something I like.

This is a little side rant relating to the blog I posted earlier about being too plain. I think another reason I'm too plain is because I have nothing that makes people think of me. When I say that I don't mean like a color or something as ambiguous as that. I mean there's nothing that I'm the best at out of everyone I know. I do/have done a million things, but i've never been the best or even super good at any of them. I've wrestled for ten years, and I'm definitely not a natural wrestler. So I've worked my ass off for all ten of those. There are still kids that have only been wrestling for four that can beat me. I also consider myself somewhat smart, but I'm positive that I am not the smartest out of all my friends. Even with looks! I'm not disgusting, but I have some friends that could have any girl they wanted. I've done/am doing parkour, guitar, lifting, gymnastics, acrobatics...ish, etc., but even with such a broad spectrum I'm not really good at any of those. Haha, I just thought of this, even with video games people beat me. I'm not too sore about that one though. I just wish that I had something that I could do and be the best at. Then when people thought of that certain thing they would think "Yeah, Dylan is the best person that I know at _______."

i wrote this silly little blog about all the people who i find inspirational. 
and i read it again today. 
and the part about you was still very true.
and i know we aren't as close as we used to be, 
and i know things have changed, that we have changed,
but i still think you are strong and wonderful and inspirational.
not sure why but i felt like i should tell you but i did. 
i think i'll always hope that you are ok.

This blog will be a nice change. Yesterday I hung out with Josh and Carlos for a while. We went to Gateway Mall so that was pretty good. I got new shoes and was able to finally get away from the normal Vans. I got Nike's. They aren't colored like the rainbow though like most are, just black and white. I like them. After that Carlos and I went bowling with three other people. It was actually pretty fun. I won the first game and took dead last the second game haha. Horton did really well the second game though. 185! After that Carlos and I drove around for a while looking for something to do, but people were being dumb so I just took him home and then went to sleep.
In other news I started a twitter account today. I feel like I'm going overboard on the whole online social networking things. I can't help myself though. I need something to boost my ego and make me feel like people care about what I do. Even if only two people follow me haha. Also, I need some friends that play instruments. Playing acoustic is fun, but I do it all the time and sometimes it's just too quiet and intricate. I need something where I can screw up ten times with no one noticing, and still have lots of fun. So if you can play guitar, bass, and/or drums you should definitely leave a comment. hmmm...anything else...I'm getting pretty close to beating Pokemon Platinum. I have six badges now, just two to go. Then I'll be a Pokemon master. I am also dressed very awkwardly right now. Well, awkward for me at least. I decided since I got Nike's it might look alright if I wear these pants that I accidently bought too big. I guess it looks alright, but I just feel really awkward in baggy pants. I don't think I'm going to do it again. This weekend has been pretty eventless. hopefully next weekend will be better. I get to spend Tuesday doing another dance and homework. That's the best.
Have a good day.

Click here to boost my ego.

Today was pretty good.
I played Pokemon.
I need someone to make me go to school.

Nylon strings suck.
Pokemon The First Movie is the best.
Coffee always makes me feel good.

MASTER RACE!
Tina padded her dress.
Four shot all day.

Bowling tomorrow?
I'll beat pokemon.
I won't do anything productive.

I can never get what I want.
wtf@Bryson
I must be doing something wrong.

I've got romantic ideas, but they're not meant for you.
I don't really even care if i'm alone now.
I'm butter on a summers day when she's around.

I don't have a lot to say about events over the last couple days because nothing has really happen. It's just been me waiting for something to happen. Don't worry though, I still have something to say.

I think that I am too plain. In both appearance and personality. I mean I definitely don't constantly want attention on me. I just think it's hard for people to actually want to talk to you/get to know you if you aren't interesting enough. I can meet new people alright, but after that that's just how it seems to stay. The problem with this is that I have no idea how to improve either of these. I don't know how to talk or what to say so that I am more interesting. I just say what I think which is either incredibly dumb or incredibly obvious. Also, I don't think how I look exactly stands out in a crowd. I dress and look the same as 1,000,000 other people. I don't want to change that though, because then I'll just end up like those ridiculous scene kids with rainbow hair and Power Ranger shirts. I'm not desperate for attention, sometimes I just wish that people would take more of an interest in me.
Have a good day.

p.s.
it would be cool to get comments again.

I don't have anything to say, but it's been a few days since I've posted.
Hopefully I'll actually have something to say by Friday.
Until then you can read these lyrics.

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so called problems
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say

Walkin' like a one man army
Fightin' with the shadows in your head
Livin' out the same old moment
Knowin' you'd be better off instead
If you could only...

Say what you need to say

Have no fear for givin' in
Have no fear for givin' over
You'd better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Then never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open (wide)

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say what you need to

Say what you need to say (I'll see you one day)
Say what you need to say (I'll save you)

Today was a pretty good last day of spring break. Jordan and I drove around, went to my aunts, then played kickball. After that we picked up Carlos. The three of us decided that I'm still G2G on something, so that's good. After that we went to my house and played Monopoly. That was pretty fun, and we actually finished. When we were done with that Jordan and Carlos played Pokemon for a while while I just played guitar. Now I can tell that we're all very tired and I'll be taking Jordan home soon. I don't really have a lot else to say other then I feel pretty good about today and it's helped me out.
Have a good day.

I have to realize I'm basing everything off what someone says. There could be ulterior motives, but it seems sound enough that reason says it's true. It probably is. I need to stop caring about it.

You're pulling out your teeth
And I'm the novacaine you pump in your cheek
That's why I'm still around
You have blood running down your chin
But you suffered peacefully
She was a termite eating away at my roots
I was just a lost soul who needed a home
I was filling a void with you
And I can't can't wait
Til you see see see
What death and disgust have done to me
And I spent three years
Wishing for two things
That one day you'd break and I'd get see
How all the choices you made could drive you insane
I wish we never met
As angry as I sound that's just
The way I cover up the way I fee
I've been that way for years and years
A slave to broken hearts and sex appeal
She was a termite eating away at my roots
I was just a lost soul who needed a home
I was filling a void with you
And I can't can't wait
Til you see see see
What death and disgust have done to me
I wish we never met

I deleted all of those vague posts because I have decided that I am definitely done with that now. I know that I said nearly the opposite just a little while ago, but someone talked to me and swayed me. I'm still good though. I think that everything that has happened to me and constantly happens has conditioned me to not feel as much when things don't go my way. I actually get to the point where I totally forget about it. I honestly can not remember a time in the past year and a half where I've been really upset. I'm not sure if that's good or not, but it helps with just about everything. Now I just have to decide what I'm going to do now. The only thing I am positive is that I'm not going back to what was before. It will probably be a while before I really know what I want, but until then I'll just do whatever.

In the past week or two something inside me has been stirred and, dare I say, awakened? I think the little talking to my aunt Dina gave me a week ago helped this happen. I don't want to give her alllll the credit though. I've never wanted to be an average person, with just a satisfactory life. Yeah, it's great for some people. It could be exactly what someone wants even. For me though, it's always seemed sort of dull and pointless. An easy way out and a disregard for potential. The problem is that until recently I've thought that doing something great was totally out of reach for me. It takes a lot of luck, which I have never had any of. If other people think that I can though, maybe I should consider it. I've more than considered it by now though. I'm not going to be a 9:00 - 5:00 guy in a middle class white suburb. That sounds alright, but not for me. I want to improve. I'm going to improve. I'm not sure what else to put here. I'm doing what I should be and what I want to do. I'm having fun too. Tomorrow is Bayside and Saturday is super dance time...I think? I never know with that. I told Jordan I was going to put a Harry Potter reference in here. I love Ginny. haha, no one is going to get that. Oh well, he will.

Right now I feel really good. I blame this on upcoming events and the new term although there may be a few other factors. In two days I get to see Bayside. I haven't seen them for a fairly long time so I'm really excited for that. Also, it'll be the first time I get to see them play stuff off Shudder. So that should be cool. The thing I'm excited for most though is in one week from today. Spring Break! The plans are to stay in Vegas and Possibly go to San Diego for a day to go to Magic Mountain. I really hope this goes through. Nearly every time I try to see the fun side of being independent it doesn't go through. I always get really excited, and then torn down too. This time though I can only see maybe one or two things that I'll have to get past to make sure it happens. I really hope it happens. One of the things that will make it the most fun though is going with my friends Jordan, Josh and Austin. It's nice to be around people that you can do whatever with and it will still be as fun as can be. If I do end up going I think I may bring a video camera around with me to record our zany antics. I don't know what else to say here because I'm starting to get too excited to write about anything else.