I'm switching my blogging activities to tumblr. It's better for small posts as well as big, and I always come upon just quotes or songs that mean a lot to me. I want to be able to post two or three of those a day sometimes, without it seeming like too much. Tumblr will help me out with that. It's not just a technical change that I'm after either. I feel like I'm going through a big change right now and I want to start over. I have a lot of good and bad things in here, but I just feel like at least the ones before the last month, aren't quite me. I mean they were obviously me, I did them. I'm not necessarily a better person, just different. Hopefully better.
It's weird that my dad is getting married in 21 days. That's right, on new years eve. I don't know if i mentioned that part before. But it's not like people have anything else to do then, right? I'm supposed to stay at my aunts for two days after, but I'm going to try to see if I can find something else. I don't think he realizes how ridiculous it is to try to make me stay in Sandy on new years eve. I guess I'm going to have to go to the wedding, but I don't support it. I'll just stand behind everyone silently loathing. At least it will be early-ish and not very long. They have some sort of consciousness of the fact that it's new years. I've started to get worried about being able to get out of here. No matter who promises me a job, it never seems to pull through. I always say I'm going to go apply everywhere, but then the car is gone and/or has no gas. Hopefully I can tomorrow, but I'll see I guess. It's also annoying because I haven't really been able to get anything at all for the past few months. I know I should be more concerned about other things, but it'd be nice to have new clothes, or to be able to go and eat with my friends, or to be able to just buy people Christmas presents. Oh well. I just have to apply at more places and someday I'll have money.
Other than that, I'm pretty good. I haven't had to do homework for a few days, which is a big change. I will over the weekend, but maybe I'll get lucky and actually get myself to space it out. Probably not, but it would be nice. I'm still sick, it's not too bad though. Just a cough drop, some ibuprofen and it's like I'm not. I even got enough motivation to clean my room a little today. Well I think I'm done now. I wouldn't say that this was a complaining entry. Just...I don't know. It didn't feel like complaining. Have a good day and enjoy the video.
I'm blogging at eleven in the morning, which is kind of weird for me. I have a lot of homework to do though, and if I don't blog now I'll do it later to procrastinate. I don't even know what to write about right now. I just know I haven't blogged for a while.
I'm not exactly sure what I can write about. The things that have been around me lately are exactly what I'm trying to leave behind, rather than write about them. Hence, my last post. Well earlier this week I saw Say Anything again. I felt bad most of the time though. They sounded really good, the whole band was going all out, and still only the very front of the crowd was moving. I couldn't even get up there with them because of douche bags blocking us. Oh well, at least I got to hear Woe and Every Man has a Molly. I got to meet the band too and got a CD signed! That made it all worth it. I listen to In Defense of the Genre a lot during the wintery parts of the year. Not because of the songs in particular. Just because two years ago I got it for my birthday so this is the time when I listened to it a lot. Probably the worst time in my life, and it made it better even though it had nothing to do with any of it. I'm not sure what else to write about. I usually just write about the bad things, which is what I'm trying to stay away from. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have a lot to write about. I'm doing pretty well right now. I'm sick! But it's not even that bad haha.
Lately I've been listening to Person L's new album, The Positives. It's really good and exactly what I've been needing. I think it might actually be what a lot of my friends need right now. It's cool because usually the lyrics of songs kind of feel like they're just on top of everything. On the Positives though, nothing in particular is in control and they're just woven throughout the music. Another one that I've been able to get more into lately is Paramore's Brand New Eyes. It didn't hit too big at first, but it's gotten really good with time. That's one thing I like about music. Even the same song can sound really bad at first and then like a masterpiece a week later. And no, I'm not ashamed for telling people to listen to Paramore. It's good.
Edit:
Make sure to listen to Good Days on The Positives and All I Wanted on Brand New Eyes. Those are my favorites at least.
I can't get the links to work, so just copy and paste them into the address bar
I'm jumping straight in. First off, I don't want to come off ostentatious. None of this makes me laugh or is laughable at all. I don't like it when people just laugh at their problems. They're not funny and pretending to laugh at your misfortunes doesn't make them so. None of it is killing me either. It's just there, and it doesn't need to be there. If something can be left alone and let go, it should be. I don't want to go all out on this subject, I just want to make sure that I'm understood. If, or when actually, anyone is in a situation where they have the choice between taking the high and low road, I suggest the high road. It feels good to know that you did the right and mature thing. I'm going to end this now before I get too preachy and seem pretentious. I just want people, my friends in particular, to be able to do the things that are the best.
This is a happiness disclaimer. I'm not bipolar, just sometimes things work out. Sometimes even, right after bad things happen. This is going to be good.
I'm not sure really how to explain why I'm in a good mood, but I don't think specifics should be as important to other people as should be just the plain fact that I feel good. I'm really excited for Say Anything tomorrow. I don't even care that they'll probably only play around an hour. I'll have all the energy that I killed during Bayside last time and I finally get to hear Ahh...men live. I can't really say anything else about why I feel good. But I think that the post where I started actually allowing myself to feel happy helped this come about. I'm not sure what else to say. I just wanted to record the fact that I'm happy and that I needed to help myself get to this point. Even though this is short, I hope you enjoy it more than the last few.
I usually get specific with instances in my blogs, but not this one. I'm going to write a Natalee blog. Important, but vague. The Utah vs. BYU game is on right now. I'm not watching it, but I can still hear it coming from the next room. I don't really care who wins it that much. I mean I'd like for Utah to win, but if they lose it won't upset me.
In the last couple days I've come to terms with what's been keeping me down. Myself. I know it's obvious but the hardest part of realizing that is knowing that you can make yourself feel better. Normally it's "I know I feel bad, but that's how I feel and I can't help it." Wrong. I know you can't just flip around your mood. But getting better depends on how you deal with it. You can choose to wallow in it and make it worse, which is what I've been doing. Or you can try to make it better and improve whatever it is. I don't have to punch holes in my wall. I don't have to listen to depressing music. I don't have to hang out by myself all day. I wish that I would have came to this conclusion a little sooner. I tend to see what other people are doing, and learn from them. This is usually good because then I don't do whatever it is wrong that they do. Sometimes it isn't though. I don't like it when my friends are like this, and I have trouble figuring out myself what I need to do. I'm not sure what else to say now. I don't really feel better, but I know I can try a lot harder to make it happen. Hopefully this is the first step to ascension.
