I think it's time that I realize self pity is meaningless.

Crash
Crash,
originally uploaded by DylanisCool.
Yep, that's my car. 240SX. Dead. I'm totally going to Tarantino it and now tell you how it happened.
So it's seven in the morning and I'm going west on a not so tiny street on my way to school where there is a neighborhood on the side of it. Some lady pulling out of the neighborhood decides that stop signs just aren't her thing, so she ignores it and keeps going to turn on to the street I'm on. Than...BOOM! my car does a little more than a 360 into the turn lane with me just takin' a seat in it.
Long story short, I won't have a car for a little while. It's alright though. Getting upset over things like that is what ruins everyday for you until you decide you can't do anything about it. So unless something a lot worse happens, I'll be good to go.

I'll be who I wanna be, so think what you want of me.


I've recently taken a trip down "reconsider lifestyle lane" and realized that there are very few people whom I actually care what they think of me. I know that sounds close to the whole "so what? i don't even care what you think!" kind of thing, but that's how I feel. Or at least how I think I feel. There are probably like seven or maybe eight people that would bother me if they hated me. It might seem like a big-ish number, but it's nothing compared to people who can't stand someone they don't even know not liking them.

Everything that I do to improve myself isn't for other people, it's for me to feel better about myself. There's a couple things that I'm working on right now and I'm sure when I get the results I'm looking for I'll feel really good regardless of other people. Also, I'm back in the tattoo mode. I know I posted about this a while ago, but I can't do it by myself. Then I'll feel alone in it, haha. I think when Josh gets his (Saturday I think?) it will be enough to push me to get mine. So maybe next month? We'll see.

I hope to find a place that feels like home. With a heightened sense of strength and a stronger sense of self.

ahhh, I've already had a very similar blog post as this one will be but I can't help it. It's because I think about this every time I listen to music that I'm really into which is pretty much every day. I think that just to satisfy me I might start actually trying something out when I find people that can play instruments and are interested in the same genre of music as I am. Pretty much everyone I know that plays an instrument just wants to imitate Chelsea Grin or Bring Me the Horizon. ewwwwwww. Anyway, if it works out that would be awesome. If it doesn't, than I know it isn't for me.

watch this!



We'd stay here all night long, be strong. Forget the world we're living in.


I'm excited for the summer. Today isn't as sunny as it has been the past couple days. I'm still excited though from the little taste of summer we've gotten in the past week. I'm excited for Raging Waters every week like last summer. I'm excited to be able to take a whole day, do nothing but play video games and not have it be a waste of a non-school day. I'm excited for Warped Tour. I'm excited for staying out until one in the morning and having it still be 75 degrees outside. I'm excited for a lot more too, but this would be way too long.

I also got a Golds Gym membership a few days ago. I talked to a trainer and he said if I work on my upper body at least five days a week I can be benching 250 by the end of the school year, (May) which is also pretty cool. Since I got it I've mostly been running hard and not doing tons of benching because I have no one to spot me. When Carlos gets his next week though I'll be able to step it up. I guess I'm also excited about that for when the summer starts. I haven't had any epiphanies or anything of that sort since I wrote last so I guess this entry won't be very deep. That's alright though. Sometimes you need to not worry about that stuff and just have fun.
Until next time, have fun.

Rant Ch.1


Right now I feel like ranting about all the dumb people and the dumb things they do. I'm sure I'm going to do this more than once, so this will be part one.



1. People who wear sunglasses inside/when it's dark outside. What is the point of this? To make you look super cool...or to make you look like a douchebag? Believe me, it's the latter.
2. People who say disgusting/stupid stuff to look cool and/or random. My prime examples of this are Colby and Dylan (not myself, obviously). Saying something like "OMG I'm going to cut your nipples off!", yes that's a direct quote, is not cool or funny or even random. It again just makes you look like a complete douchebag.
3. People that argue for the sake of arguing, just to seem like they "think outside the box" or because they're just dumb. This is one of my main problems with Theory of Knowledge. Tons of people fight stuff with him just to seem opinionated and smart. I don't care if they realize they're wrong and stop, but these aren't the kind of people I'm talking about. I mean people that will argue that "salt is not salty". You're not original, and you're not a genius. You're just making yourself look incredibly dumb.
4. This "peace&love&happiness" bull$h1t. By wearing a shirt that displays that logo you are not spreading world peace or even a little dab of love throughout your community. You are advertising a brand that is making millions of dollars off tons of trendy teen girls. You want to spread peace, love, and/or happiness? Go do community service instead of being a billboard.



I have several other things in my head right now, but I'll save them for another time. Hopefully if one of these describes you, you'll change your evil ways. 
Until next time...

I hate myself more than I ever let on. But I chose this cup that I drank from. Knew what I was getting into.

Dinner
Dinner,
originally uploaded by DylanisCool.
Wow, this has been the longest gap that I've had with not writing. Don't worry I haven't forgot. I just haven't had anything to write about really. Yesterday I went to my aunts house and had a very good dinner. I don't know about you, but I can't think of a better meat combo than steak and crab. Anyway I really like going to my aunts house even though I don't do it that often. Out of everyone I've ever known I thought that my mom, my aunt, and my cousin Gabi are the only ones that completely understood me, and how I think. And obviously I was wrong about one of them. So it's always nice to have talks with Gabi and my aunt. I mean there are some people who understand certain things about me, but even when they're with me and realize those things I still feel alone in my head. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be though. Maybe people not being able to figure you out all the way is good, I don't know.

I've got some concrete ideas and they've been paving my way.



This entry is probably going to be very vague but still very... justifying? Anyway, I feel like I'm undergoing and working towards some giant change. It doesn't just feel like a personality one either. It feels like how I act, think, and even how I make myself look is all changing for the better and I'm helping myself along with it. I don't think it's because how I have been/currently am is bad. I think it's probably just everything about my character evolving and maturing. Talking to Cameren today make me realize how it's not so bad growing up. In an earlier post I said how I'm scared of it. Now though, even without tons of plans, I'm excited for it. I don't really have much else to say other than I'm growing up and I'm fine with it.