I don't have a lot to say about events over the last couple days because nothing has really happen. It's just been me waiting for something to happen. Don't worry though, I still have something to say.

I think that I am too plain. In both appearance and personality. I mean I definitely don't constantly want attention on me. I just think it's hard for people to actually want to talk to you/get to know you if you aren't interesting enough. I can meet new people alright, but after that that's just how it seems to stay. The problem with this is that I have no idea how to improve either of these. I don't know how to talk or what to say so that I am more interesting. I just say what I think which is either incredibly dumb or incredibly obvious. Also, I don't think how I look exactly stands out in a crowd. I dress and look the same as 1,000,000 other people. I don't want to change that though, because then I'll just end up like those ridiculous scene kids with rainbow hair and Power Ranger shirts. I'm not desperate for attention, sometimes I just wish that people would take more of an interest in me.
Have a good day.

p.s.
it would be cool to get comments again.

I don't have anything to say, but it's been a few days since I've posted.
Hopefully I'll actually have something to say by Friday.
Until then you can read these lyrics.

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so called problems
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say

Walkin' like a one man army
Fightin' with the shadows in your head
Livin' out the same old moment
Knowin' you'd be better off instead
If you could only...

Say what you need to say

Have no fear for givin' in
Have no fear for givin' over
You'd better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Then never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open (wide)

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say what you need to

Say what you need to say (I'll see you one day)
Say what you need to say (I'll save you)

Today was a pretty good last day of spring break. Jordan and I drove around, went to my aunts, then played kickball. After that we picked up Carlos. The three of us decided that I'm still G2G on something, so that's good. After that we went to my house and played Monopoly. That was pretty fun, and we actually finished. When we were done with that Jordan and Carlos played Pokemon for a while while I just played guitar. Now I can tell that we're all very tired and I'll be taking Jordan home soon. I don't really have a lot else to say other then I feel pretty good about today and it's helped me out.
Have a good day.

I have to realize I'm basing everything off what someone says. There could be ulterior motives, but it seems sound enough that reason says it's true. It probably is. I need to stop caring about it.

You're pulling out your teeth
And I'm the novacaine you pump in your cheek
That's why I'm still around
You have blood running down your chin
But you suffered peacefully
She was a termite eating away at my roots
I was just a lost soul who needed a home
I was filling a void with you
And I can't can't wait
Til you see see see
What death and disgust have done to me
And I spent three years
Wishing for two things
That one day you'd break and I'd get see
How all the choices you made could drive you insane
I wish we never met
As angry as I sound that's just
The way I cover up the way I fee
I've been that way for years and years
A slave to broken hearts and sex appeal
She was a termite eating away at my roots
I was just a lost soul who needed a home
I was filling a void with you
And I can't can't wait
Til you see see see
What death and disgust have done to me
I wish we never met

I deleted all of those vague posts because I have decided that I am definitely done with that now. I know that I said nearly the opposite just a little while ago, but someone talked to me and swayed me. I'm still good though. I think that everything that has happened to me and constantly happens has conditioned me to not feel as much when things don't go my way. I actually get to the point where I totally forget about it. I honestly can not remember a time in the past year and a half where I've been really upset. I'm not sure if that's good or not, but it helps with just about everything. Now I just have to decide what I'm going to do now. The only thing I am positive is that I'm not going back to what was before. It will probably be a while before I really know what I want, but until then I'll just do whatever.

In the past week or two something inside me has been stirred and, dare I say, awakened? I think the little talking to my aunt Dina gave me a week ago helped this happen. I don't want to give her alllll the credit though. I've never wanted to be an average person, with just a satisfactory life. Yeah, it's great for some people. It could be exactly what someone wants even. For me though, it's always seemed sort of dull and pointless. An easy way out and a disregard for potential. The problem is that until recently I've thought that doing something great was totally out of reach for me. It takes a lot of luck, which I have never had any of. If other people think that I can though, maybe I should consider it. I've more than considered it by now though. I'm not going to be a 9:00 - 5:00 guy in a middle class white suburb. That sounds alright, but not for me. I want to improve. I'm going to improve. I'm not sure what else to put here. I'm doing what I should be and what I want to do. I'm having fun too. Tomorrow is Bayside and Saturday is super dance time...I think? I never know with that. I told Jordan I was going to put a Harry Potter reference in here. I love Ginny. haha, no one is going to get that. Oh well, he will.

Right now I feel really good. I blame this on upcoming events and the new term although there may be a few other factors. In two days I get to see Bayside. I haven't seen them for a fairly long time so I'm really excited for that. Also, it'll be the first time I get to see them play stuff off Shudder. So that should be cool. The thing I'm excited for most though is in one week from today. Spring Break! The plans are to stay in Vegas and Possibly go to San Diego for a day to go to Magic Mountain. I really hope this goes through. Nearly every time I try to see the fun side of being independent it doesn't go through. I always get really excited, and then torn down too. This time though I can only see maybe one or two things that I'll have to get past to make sure it happens. I really hope it happens. One of the things that will make it the most fun though is going with my friends Jordan, Josh and Austin. It's nice to be around people that you can do whatever with and it will still be as fun as can be. If I do end up going I think I may bring a video camera around with me to record our zany antics. I don't know what else to say here because I'm starting to get too excited to write about anything else.