Ughh, it feels like it's happening again but I'll try to get through this without any craziness. It's usually these talks that trigger them. Talks with a million questions and no answers. I always get into these hoping that I'll come out happier, but I always seem to feel ten times worse after. Which is already happening. But I'll keep going just because I believe that it may turn out better, when I know it won't. Recently I've realized that there is no correlation between how I think/feel and what I do. I'm not even positive what I really think half the time. Right on the outside of everything I'll think one thing, but as I think more and go deeper it changes. It doesn't do this once either, my mind just goes back and forth until I choose what I want to do. What I do can't reflect what I think either, because everything second guessing it inside my head is still there. That might mean that most of the time I don't 100% think anything. I don't like the thought of that, but I also know that it's true. I'm not even sure that this will make sense to anyone else. As I type it though, it seems to be an alright description of my thinking process.