I feel kind of different right now. Not happy or sad or anything like that. I'm not really sure what. But I just got back from the party thing that I had to do a few short dances for. I think I talked about it earlier, I'm not sure though. It was really fun all up until after we did the dances. It wasn't dumb or anything after that, it was just different. After that I kind of felt like I was supposed to leave. Not because anyone was mean or anything of that sort. Just because it seemed like it should have just been their close friends and family their enjoying the time with them. I don't know. I still had a good time, just a little different more towards the end. But now it's over and so is everything else that came with it. Honestly, I'll probably never see the two Kelsey's again. The others though, I'm sure I will. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I don't mean because the party thing is over. Haha, I'm skipping around. I mean with myself. I have no idea what I am and what I want in myself. I'm not sure how I act around people and if I like it. I don't know if other people see me as someone that's at least alright. I can't even really pinpoint any certain personality traits of mine. It seems like I'm so different in different situations that I'm never the same person, depending on what's happening. This makes it very hard for me to know what kind of a person I am. I know this seems like some sort of intense soul searching thing, but really I just want to be someone who people really know. Someone that people could describe well using five or six adjectives. I don't mean boring and obvious, just...consistent and likeable. I guess I feel like I'm looking at everything from outside my perspective right now. I want to be a big part of someone and their happiness. Like the girl's close friends and family members that were at their party having fun with them and making them feel happy. I feel like I need to change to be that for someone. I don't think I'm the right person to be able to be that. I guess until I change I'm on my own. Oh well, that's alright for now.