So today I went to a family party and I was looking forward to it because I wanted to talk to my family about stuff, little did I know it would escalate to ridiculous proportions. I went out and had a nice talk with my uncle and then when I come back in, my dad says we have to leave now and talks about how much he hates everyone. Anyway, I was a little upset and left as soon as I got home. While I'm driving my dad calls me and says "Before anyone in the family tells you, Becca and I are engaged to be married. But not until March, so don't worry."

WTF

First off all, he didn't even have the balls to tell me in person. He's only been "dating" her for a month! Then I found out that he's getting her name tattooed on his leg.

WTF v2

He is literally just like a 14 year old couple that have been together for two weeks. We're in love, carve your name into me, you're my world, we'll be together forever!!! I am having a really hard time not using profanity, but I'm not going to. I can't fathom as to why they would get married already. It honestly just blows my mind. I have shared the weight of every bad decision he's made, but I don't care now. I'm not going to let some stranger force her way into my life. I wish I could voice how pissed off and dumbfounded I am in this, but I just can't. I'm disgusted with both of them. I don't want her to think she has a relationship with me and I don't want her to think I have any intention of starting one. I don't want her, or even my dad, to think that they had anything to do with who I am or what I do. I may not be giving myself enough credit, but to me I owe who I am to my other family members and Ciara. I don't know what else to say in this, because I can't put everything around it, in it. Just in case someone knows how to use google, I need to have some things under wrap.

Well with all these problems I talked to my family a lot today. I like talking to me because they always tell me how strong, courageous, headstrong, and other great things I am. I don't know if it's true, because your family is obviously a little biased, but I like hearing them. It makes me believe that I can really come out of anything and be good. It makes me feel like a good person in general. I know I've mentioned this before too, but there are a few people that I can talk to and I feel like I need to talk to when things like this happen. One of them is Gabi and I'm sad that she's going away soon. At least it's for a mission. Earlier it was bad that I couldn't voice something, but now it's a good one. I don't know how to write how much I love her and wish that I could talk to her about everything. To me at least, she has every good quality that I can think of, and she's fun to hang out with! If anyone asked me if I would give my life for someone, that is one person that would definitely come to mind. I know she doesn't read this, so I'll have to tell her in person before she leaves, but I like writing about it.

Well after all of that, I'm going to continue with my motto. Even with everything happening, I know I'm going to be okay. I know that because I won't let myself live unhappily and I refuse to let any circumstance lower my potential. I'm not trying to be a badass, I'm trying to be an example for the martyrs. Everything has been building since I can remember and even at my breaking point I know that I'll come out of it with my head up. You can't let any problem take control of you, or else you lose control of your own life. Don't feel bad for yourself, don't let it get to you, and don't think that it'll never get better. It's kind of crazy that I've gone through all of this, I still am, and yet I'm still preaching to everyone about being happy. But I don't know...I just want to be happy. and I know that I will be. So you can too.

Have a good day.