Two nights ago I hung out with a bunch of people that were drinking and last night I texted someone that was. It's really different seeing things from the other side and I must say I enjoy this side of things much more. I'm going to have to give props to Cameron right now. Even though he didn't directly talk to me about it, every little bit he said about it pushed me a little more and now I feel like I'm a better, more responsible person. I'm not attacking the people that are still going for it though, but I do suggest to try being on the other side at least once. In the morning you look at people's tweets and texts and, at least I, feel good that you were completely in control. I think that's another reason why I like this better. I like to always be in control of how I feel and what I do. That's why I tend to be stubborn and not do anything that I don't want to. Now that I think about it, it was just self-destruction masked as fun.

When you think about self-destruction you think of bad things like cutting, drinking, drugs, anti-social stuff, etc. But I think there is constructive self-destruction. For me it's song/music writing. When I write something I pick myself completely apart, analyze every part, and it hurts. But after the entire process I change or hit some sort of epiphany. Whether it's subtle or not doesn't matter, because it's always a good one. It's self-destruction because I'm tearing myself apart on purpose, but then I come out better. Where things like drinking, drugs, etc., turn into a vicious circle. I think if people found they're own method of it, they could do well too.

I'm going to keep posting videos for a while. If I can't find a good one to fit the entry, maybe I'll use a picture.