Cameron and I are the only ones that blog anymore. I guess it made everyone else unhappy. That's weird, because for me at least, it shows me that I've come back from low times, that I'm constantly getting better and it helps me really organize my thoughts. I don't really have anyone that I can tell everything anymore either. So it feels good to get some things out without troubling one person. Not to mention it's improved my writing a lot. I've been owning hardcore on every essay I've been assigned. Oh well, I guess I put out the idea of blogging to everyone and I'm going to keep it going for myself.
Today I "did homework" with Josh at Beans and Brews. It didn't work out because we both just ended up talking for two hours. He started telling me all his tattoo ideas that he's sorting through and I told him all of mine. It makes me excited that I'm going to be eighteen in a month and a half. The only problem with how soon it is, is that I have a billion ideas...most Bayside related of course. Lately I've been more excited than scared to turn 18. Josh was saying that he was ready to call me and see if he could come over one time because he was done with his house, but decided to stay. We started talking about how we both want to leave our houses, and it might be possible at the end of the semester depending on how soon I can get a job. Sooo that'll be good. Either way, I'm definitely done at the end of the school year. I decided that I'd put some of my ideas on here that I've been thinking about so that you can comment and say if they sound good or not
"Cast your demons aside" with a hand holding a green monster or something like that by the scruff of its neck.
"A lesson learned is priceless gain, if you can take the sting" around a jellyfish (I didn't come up with this one on my own though :/ )
"Smile Everyday" I think I'm definitely getting this, because it's small and straight to the point so I can put it anywhere on my body.
I have a lot of other ideas, but they still need to be thought out more. The picture is what I'm thinking of on the second one.
This is going to be another short little thought one. I've talked to some people about this lately and I'm pretty sure everyone feels the same about it.
Everyone has problems and feeling bad for a little while is usually necessary, but don't turn it into a habit. It's okay to be miserable, but after a while you're really just making your own misery. You make everyone around you miserable too. Don't do it. That's pretty much it haha. I'll give everyone an awesome video to watch to take up a little more time.
These are two of John Mayer's new songs off his upcoming album Battle Studies. November 17th, hit that up! Haha I feel like a publicist, but really he's awesome.
I'm going to post more blog entries about little thoughts that I have, rather then storing them all up and posting them at once. I think I lose a lot that way. Anyway, this reminds me of something I did to someone during this last summer. It's been a few months, but I still feel bad about it. Actually it seems like I've done this to everyone, but the one last summer was definitely the worst. Hopefully I can change that.
I think a change is what I need.
I thought you needed someone you knew you could trust entirely.
I've always been fine on my own.
I thought that you were growing tired of always feeling alone.
These days drag on; I'm losing faith.
You said we'd work it out together but you're pushing me away.
Well I'm here but I fear my heart is not.
You said your heart would follow me until the moment that it stopped. The moment that it stopped.......
You should have known with all the things I crowded in your mind -- I'd leave you a mess.
I thought you needed someone you knew you could trust entirely.
I've always been fine on my own.
I thought that you were growing tired of always feeling alone.
These days drag on; I'm losing faith.
You said we'd work it out together but you're pushing me away.
Well I'm here but I fear my heart is not.
You said your heart would follow me until the moment that it stopped. The moment that it stopped.......
You should have known with all the things I crowded in your mind -- I'd leave you a mess.
These lyrics are from a band called The Narrative. I said I was going to try to suggest music more and I highly recommend them. Probably one of the best unsigned bands around. The only way you can hear their music is on myspace or by buying their only EP on itunes. The fact that they don't have any torrents around prove how small they are. But believe me, they're really good.
I don't need to believe in something that won't save my sanity.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
by
Dylan
I'm doing well and I'm excited for the weekend. That's all I want to write about my life for this entry, because it's enough and I want to dedicate the rest of it to music.
Today all I've really done is homework and listened to music. I used to not be able to have any sound going on when I did homework, but then I learned it's all according to what I put on. Anyway, today I downloaded City and Colour's Brink Me Your Love. I haven't listened to him for a really long time. Probably around a year, and I don't remember him being anything too special either. Kind of like a lesser Bright Eyes; or at least that was my old opinion on him. I'm not sure if it was because I didn't pay attention or he just got a lot better, but this album is really smooth, relaxing and just all around good. I think it's what I'm going to use to sleep tonight, because I've already almost fallen asleep, not purposefully, while listening to it. The main point of this is the experience that I had while listening to it for the first time, and that I want everyone that reads this to have a similar one as well.
First, you need a need album you've never heard. Whether it's by an artist you're already familiar with or not, I don't think it matters. Then turn off all the lights in a room so that you can barely see, or not at all and play the album all the way through. You have to do it without doing anything else or you'll lose some of it. The best part of it is shutting down all your sense, other then hearing, so that you get it all in as much of a pure form as possible. I think it would be an even better experience if you did it with someone else with you. Probably a significant other or something like that. Because otherwise I can't imagine anything closer to homosexuality, besides gay sex haha. I think that it would be cool to do it with someone else, because then you can talk about everything right after the first time you hear it. As fresh as it gets. But I don't know. I don't even know if this would be that refreshing for anyone else, I just thought I'd share something that I had a good experience doing. I don't think that it would be as good if you did it with anything hard at all though. You should do it with something more on the acoustic side. Along with City and Colour I'd suggest Dashboard Confessional, Craig Owens (solo), Anthony Green, Bright Eyes, etc. But really if you haven't listened to City and Colour, you need to because I think most of the people that read my blog listen to the others.
I'm going to try to suggest more music in my blogs. I always push the significance of music and I think it would do more good than complaining about everything.
Have a good day.
I was going to just jump into it without an introduction part. This is the introduction part.
So Last night was homecoming. It was really fun. Breakfast was good, the zoo was fun, and other then losing Bridgett for a while the dance was really fun too haha. I liked the group I was in a lot too. I wish that Josh could have come to everything with us, but it was still a lot of fun. I'm glad that Jesus came, he provided most of the entertainment for everyone.
I did more than just homecoming stuff last night too. I think that I'm going to make a few changes in my life now that will improve it a lot. They should improve me too, which is something I like to do. It's something that everyone likes to do, I hope. I don't want to iterate on the changes I'm going to make because I'm not sure who reads this. But don't worry, they're good changes. I don't know how else to get across how excited and good I feel about it without saying the same thing over and over again. I've been listening to Fall Out Boy and new Say Anything songs all day. I'm so pumped to see them and for their new album. Today was the first day I got to listen to Eloise. I want to say it's one of my favorite new ones so far, but I feel like I would be demeaning the greatness of every other one I've heard. It's too hard to choose. Anyway, I wasn't planning on posting this but it seems fitting. I wrote this probably a month ago but it seems like it applies to me now even more than it did when I wrote it. Kind of weird, but cool.
From Zero to One Hundred in One Night
I once knew a man with all the big dreams
All the right ways and all the gold trim
But he never did prove his plans
The world was after him
His shrugs worked fine and so did he
At the right door, I have the wrong key
He moved a little and shoved to the right
Follow something else, just for tonight
I don’t work like I used to
Nothing’s how it’s supposed to be
A little compromise, a little change
Maybe this is a better me
I once had a friend who’s head tilted down
He never looked much
A small, simple frown
Never glance up and your stuck on the ground
But I have another plan
It’s so easy to get around
I don’t work like I used to
Nothing’s how it’s supposed to be
A little compromise, a little change
Soon I won’t even be me
Now I’m just a boy, no safety rope
Can’t remember who I was
It must be lost in the feel good smoke
The holes in my arm and even in my lungs
My dreams were the wrong ones
I need someone to tell me it’s alright
Please show me now to
Swallow the knife or learn to be right
I won’t stop living
I won’t stop living
Now I know
I won’t stop living
I was going to wait until Sunday to blog, but I will because Natalee asked me to. I didn't have anything to write about first, but now I do.
I was just glancing through tons of people's myspaces that I've known for a while. It kind of made me sick. Not because of anything bad, but because I compared them to how I remember them from 8th or 9th grade. It's weird how everyone is almost completely different from how they were before. Not necessarily better or worse, just different. I know that I was a lot different then too. It makes me wonder if it matter who I am right now, because I could be a different person in three years. There were a lot of things that I thought I'd never do, that now seem like nothing to me. I thought that I'd be trying to stay at home for all of college to save money, when now I want out before I'm even done with high school. Half of my better friends, I didn't even know two years ago. Even last year, I thought that I'd be with the same girl but I'm obviously not. Looking around my room and hearing Tortures of the Damned feels right. Looking at my newer stuff, piled upon my older things. Just all of it makes me feel sick. Not getting older, or even changing I guess. I wish that I could pick up every old thing I have and go back to when it wasn't old so that I could enjoy that day again.
This probably all stems from one main thing, which would be the last three months of the year. I enjoy them a lot because of the weather, but I also hate them. I hate October 18th. I hate that I can't see the only family that really made an effort to help me. I hate that I feel like I can't even talk to the only person that I've been able to tell everything. I hate every pair of feet that I see walk past my room's door. I hate that I might not be able to wrestle for my last year because of my ridiculous amounts of homework.
I know I'll be fine, and I might even be fine right now. But I can't seem to get through the last three months of the year without these things passing through my mind at least once a day. I'll have fun tomorrow and Saturday. Hopefully I can get rid of everything for a while.
Have a good day.
I wish I could drain out his half of blood in me, but I'd still have his face.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
by
Dylan
What I have on my mind so far is going to make this entry pretty angry and somewhat depressing. I still feel pretty pumped for the weekend though, so I think I'll be able to end it on a good note. Lets see how it goes.
This morning I got ready and got in the car to go to school. When I got in the car it sounded horrible so I went inside yelling at my dad to come help me. All I could really do was knock on his door and yell through it because of something I'll mention later. He wouldn't wake up so I ended up getting frustrated and kicked a hole into the wall by his door. That didn't even wake him up! But somehow it woke up my brother who's room is even further from where I did it. Anyway, I got him to wake up my dad and he told me to just drive the car anyway. After school I found out the oil was like mud and the tires had metal sticking out of them. So at least the car got fixed.
But anyway, the reason I didn't want to go into his room was because someone else was in there. Some lady that lived across the street with her boyfriend got in a fight with him so now "we're going to help her out until she goes to her moms." He's not just helping her out, she's been here for four days. She could have gone to her moms house five days ago! The best part was when I came home and she was wearing my pants! I will curb stomp her, not even kidding, before she wears my clothes again. I don't think I would mind that much if I at least knew the person. But I saw her probably two times in my life and then the next thing I know she's sitting here in my pants.
So all things considered I'm really re-thinking going to my aunts as soon as I'm 18. I think the things that will decide if I do is whether or not she is gone, whether or not I have a car, and whether or not I can get a job. If she's gone, then I'll obviously stay. But if she isn't and I at least have a car I think I'm going to go to my aunts. Actually I think I'm going to talk to her about it tomorrow. I wish I had family that lived closer than Sandy, but I can deal with the driving to get out of this. If it was this alone, then I might be over reacting; but with all the dumb choices my dad makes it would make sense to leave ASAP. It makes me mad all the time so little things, like the oil needing to be changed, pushes me to kick holes into the wall. I'm really glad that we get to wrestle tomorrow so it can help me out a little. Like that would be pretty cool if someone wanted to fight me from me being a dick. I would own them hXc! I hope I at least wrestle someone that I don't care for that much tomorrow. A supe sounds like it would feel really good right now, regardless of legality. Everything sounds good, regardless of legality.
Now to get out of buzzkill town. Contrary to everything I said above, I'm still excited for the weekend. I get to be away from the house all the time and have an excuse for it. I get to have fun with my friends and party it up! Pretty much, I get to do whatever I want to make myself feel better. I'm not really sad or anything like that. As long as I'm doing something to have fun. This is what I was talking about earlier when I said that no matter what happens you can be okay. I'm angry, but I'm still good. I'm not going to let some lady I don't even know and my dad hold me down. And I'm going to homecoming! Woot!
Have a good day.
You know nothing about art or sex that you couldn't read in any trendy New York, underground fashion magazine.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
by
Dylan
I finally have something music related to blog about. In my spare time I read about music. I read reviews of albums old and new, usually disagree with them, and then read about what's going on in the industry. I decided I'd read a few reviews about one of my favorite albums ...Is A Real Boy. The first couple I read were really good. I recall "the second coming of punk rock" being used a few times. But then I made a mistake and opened up a review by Entertainment Weekly. That's right, the devil.
The review started off pretty well. The only part that annoyed me was how loosely they threw around the term "emo". Anyone that uses the term emo to describe clothes and music, or even uses the word emo in general, is dumb. But then I got to the best part.
On ''Every Man Has a Molly,'' Bemis' lack of self-editing gets the best of him: ''Molly Connolly just broke up with me over the revealing nature of the songs.... I won't ever have rough sex with Molly Connolly again.'' Too much information — how very emo of him.
All I can say about that is WTF. I really can't describe how stupid this makes the review sound. How they got a job at EW, I'll never know. There's a difference between too much information and being more honest than other artists. Saying "I'll never get to do -specific sexual acts inserted here- again." is too much information. What the lyrics actually are is being honest. And it's that last bit of the last sentence that pisses me off the most. "how very emo of him." WTF! I seriously can't think of words to describe how stupid, ignorant, and lacking of knowledge that makes him sound. I just...I don't even know. This is something that's wrong with people outside of this music scene. They hear something out of the norm, chuckle and get a little squeamish, and then decide that it doesn't make sense or that it is "soooo emo". If I would use any band to throw that word on, it would be Hawthorne Heights. Other than them I can't think of anything simple and whiny enough for it and I don't even like using it with them.
I could go on this for a really long time, but I'm going to stop myself now. When someone says something stupid, or argues about something that I know a lot and know they're wrong about I can't help but argue my little heart out until they know they're wrong. The problem with that is those kind of people are usually too dumb to realize they're wrong or two ignorant to care. Anyway, have a good day.
Here is the full article.
Here is the full article.
I want to blog about music, I don't know what about it though. So I'll just start off with something that I thought about today.
If you don't already know, it would probably help you to know now that I'm pretty indifferent with most things. If someone doesn't like me, I probably won't even think about it. If someone hints that they want me to ask about something, or talk about something, I probably won't care enough to. If it was really important they would just say something. Otherwise, it won't bother me not knowing. This has killed just about, if not all, relationships that I've been in. I could give other examples, but I think that's enough. It might seem convenient to not care about a lot of things, but it isn't. I would rather wonder why people don't like me, talk to people about things they want to and care more in relationships, than lose interest all the time. I can't help it though. Or at least until someone helps/makes me care about things.
hmmm...what else to talk about. I can't think of anything music related... I almost just posted lyrics from a song that I've been listening to a lot, but I don't think that's a good idea. It's cliche, unoriginal and might result in a few people getting mad at me because of what it's about. I don't think that there's any reason as to why I've been listening to it, but I'm not Freud. Now I'm really stuck on what to write about. There was some stuff that went down today. That wasn't good, haha. I'm pretty sure it was mostly my fault, but so far no one has yelled at me or anything, so I think I'm alright with them. Hopefully this weekend is fun. Game on Friday and then I have no idea what's going on after. Super fun time maybe, I don't know.
This really was a waste of a blog, but I'm not tired enough to sleep yet and have nothing else to do. Sorry about wasting your time. Hopefully you have better stuff to talk about.
Have a good day.
I am sooooo blogging. Haha, I want to blog but I won't know what about. This is probably going to take me a while to write. Let's see... 8:41. This will be fun.
School has slowly gotten to really become school in the last week. I still feel good though, since I'm still doing my homework. As long as my grades don't drop, I'll feel good about school. What I mean by school really becoming school, is that it's lost it's "OMG everyone is here!" novelty. I'm super tired every morning, I sit forever and then have to sit more at home to do the extra work I get. Even athletics is already feeling like it's supposed to. Sweating a lot, dropping weight, and dreading the class more than anything. I'm used to everyone already too. I'm used to the new sophomores, which I'm glad to say aren't as bad as last years. I'm used to the douche bags, who hates who, superiority complexes (more on this later), and new to this year...the people who know that I don't like them! Haha, I don't know if I would say I'm being a douche this year. I guess you could and it wouldn't be untrue. I would just say that I don't care if the people that I don't like, know it now. Cause c'mon...what are Jared Stanger and Nathan Gross really going to do? I'm pretty sure this makes me seem really mean. I'm not! Just to really stupid and annoying people. Now, that makes me seem like I have some sort of superiority complex. Which I'm not sure I'm allowed to fully deny. I know I'm a smarter person than the two people I mentioned above. Does that make me any better than them? Sure it does. Dick move, by me haha. But that's why I'm not going to totally deny the superiority complex thing. I guess it also doesn't help with meeting new people, when I seem like I'm going to tear apart anyone I talk to. Tru and Tori both said they were intimidated by me before they knew me. I think a lot of guys would show off and say something like "Yeah, I'm way too much of a badass", but that isn't good. How am I supposed to meet girls, if they're too afraid to even talk to me? That's probably why my friends say people like me, but no one ever makes it very apparent. At least Tori said that she found out I'm nice. Tru didn't say anything about me actually not being mean haha. Just in case people are reading this that I don't talk to a lot, I'm not mean! I'm still contemplating homecoming a little, but barely now. It would be nearly impossible to find someone to go with. So I'll probably just take a seat until senior ball, unless something pops up. We'll see on that whole thing though. I never have my mind set on girl-involved things for very long. I can blame that on being a 17 year old boy though. I'm going to have a fun time this weekend and see what happens there. Yeaaaahhhh, that'll be fun.
I think I'm down now and it's 9:07. I'm amazed that I wrote it that fast. Sometimes thought out blogs take longer than that. Maybe it's because I have more things to write about in those, more in depth. I don't know.
Have a good day.