Just don't tell me this doesn't mean the world. My ears would bleed and my heart would hit the floor.

I wish that was me. I stressed in an earlier post to have some sort of meaning for your life and actually do something. If there is anything that has meaning for me, it's this. Most dreams are ridiculously impossible to even touch. Well this one is no exception. I think the reason that I've been learning/playing guitar for the past year is to create some sort of outlet for this. By playing whatever songs I can learn I've been insignificantly "living the dream". I wish that I could dream more reasonably. hahaha, i can't believe i just wrote dream reasonably. I'm going to leave it there just because it makes me laugh. Someday I'm going to have to get a "real" job and sort of leave this in the dust. I think one of the reasons I haven't been able to find a career path I really like is because I'm not ready for that yet. I mean I'm sure I'll be able to find a good job that's important to other people. Still, none of them will quite compare. 


P.S. 
Another part of my outlet for this is writing "songs", which is quoted because you could hardly call them that.

I want meaning. Everything is so pliable.
My decisions are all stamped wrong.
My tongue is rolling out words I've never heard.
My thoughts are fleeting, on top of unstoppable grieving. 
Even inertia let me down when the world stopped turning.
Everything is changing, but no one is saying. Let me go on with what I need. You're only adding more blocks on the top. Every words adds a dry lump to my throat. Meaning really doesn't mean that much. So stop leaning on anything stable. Be your own crutch.
You can learn from Atlas. Just hold what you're told. Just throw on another coat when it all goes cold.

1 comments:

Josh said...


dude, screw careers are band is going to be our career. :) we just have to get it started. :)